Another year, another great Super Bowl. Let’s review some of the propbets I covered in an early post and see just how rich you now are because you read outsidethehustle.
How many times will Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth say "dynasty?"
I took the over and I had literally no idea if this was over or under while watching. I don’t really remember hearing them say “dynasty” even once, so clearly they were in on this bet. I read there were multiple million dollar bets in Vegas and maybe one of those was Michaels or Collinsworth taking the under. By the way, how much money do you have to have to bet a million dollars? 50 million? 100 million? I can’t even wrap my head around that. And if you lose, do you just say “uhhh yeah I’m gonna need free rooms and shows every weekend here for the next two years since you just made so much money off me.” How could they say no to that? Plus, they have to figure you are a degenerate gambler and won’t be able to come to Vegas that many times without placing some more bets. Surely they give you free rooms for at least a year.
Length of the national anthem
over/under 2 minutes
One of my buddies bet the over on this. And that was after a quick google search told him most of them have been under 2 minutes. After Pink finished he legitimately asked, “Did Pink miss that last note for home of the brave?” Uh no, I don’t think she missed the singing note and you definitely missed out on making money here. The same guy bet the color of the Gaterade poured on the winning coach would be orange….and it was yellow….what an idiot.
Odds Brady wears a bandage on his right hand? Yes -130 No +100.
What did I tell you? If you were smart you would have taken your kid’s college fund and bet on “no.” I realized during the Super Bowl I have as much gray hair as Brady does, and he’s seven years older than me. It makes no sense. Our wives basically look the exact same, I wear Uggs in the winter (only around the house, don’t hate), and I wear Under Armour. What gives? But then I remembered he has just a little bit more money than I do, and he’s been on this TB12 method for a while now. So I’m not worried. Since I’m on the TB12 method now I won’t gray any more either. If you’re STILL wondering what the TB12 method is, go get his book. You basically workout with bands, don’t eat gluten (GO TO THE EAT TAB ON THIS WEBSITE IF YOU WANT TO LEARN
MORE ABOUT GLUTEN FREE LIVING), no sugar, alcohol OR caffeine, and you do the foam roller over your whole body for like three hours a day. I'm in.
Let’s talk about the halftime show for a second. I don’t understand all the Internet hate for Justin Greatest Of All Time Timberlake. His performance was solid. Was it as good as one of his concerts? No, and I should know, I’ve been five times. He had the tribute to Prince, sang most of his hits, and took a selfie with a kid who looked like he belonged at a spelling B. People can hate on what he wore, I get that. Only JT could wear a bandana and clothes that had to have been sold
from a creepy neighborhood garage sale. At least he did wear some J’s. You can wear J’s and your street cred gets kicked up at least two or three notches. But I’m not sure what people think is an amazing halftime performance. Most every perfomer is going to sing, dance, play their hits, and that’s it. They won’t be ziplining, parachuting, dog sleding, or jet packing onto the field, and if you gambled on any of those prop bets, you lost. He entered via the field as I predicted. You're welcome. Regardless, do yourself a favor and get tickets to his upcoming concert tour, you won't be disappointed even if you were on Super Bowl Sunday.
The commercials? The commercials that I kept laughing at were all the Tide commercials with Hopper from Stranger Things, the popular Netflix series. Hopper was like "I am going to ride this Stranger Things money train until they shove me off!" He had to be in what felt like five different Tide commercials. Here is my favorite one.
But maybe Tide was trying to steer the conversation away from the whole Tide Challenge thing kids are doing these days. Have you heard about this? I just learned what this is about a week ago. Kids literally eat the Tide pod things you wash your clothes with. Or kids cook them in a frying pan then put them in their mouth as long as they can before spitting them out. Apparently this is not good for your health but kids are doing it anyway. Shocker. Kids, and I mainly mean teenagers, are seriously so dumb. The fact that the human race has been around as long as it has shows how amazing our bodies can be. Think of all the stupid things kids do. Just in the last couple years the Internet has lit up because kids were doing the "gallon challenge" and the "bath salt challenge." Their minds sit there and think "what is the dumbest thing I can possibly do that could kill me but most likely I'll survive, but also could get me a lot of views on YouTube?" As I'm writing this I realize I sound like a grandpa, and I already gave away my actual age, but I don't care. Kids do stupid stuff. I guess you just have to hope your own kid(s) does less of it than others.
Lastly, it was an amazing game. I wish Brady would have won another title, but I'm hoping he will be back next year. The Eagles had a great year and deserved to win. Nick Foles played great, and you can't help but be happy for him, especially with the way he handles himself. If you need a daily dose of inspiration, listen to his postgame comments here.